Control your emotions
When we feel vulnerable, there is a need for us to take control. And in that instant, the sequence of events that triggers the vulnerability is repeated in the mind over and over again. So we get angry. The best cure is prevention, and the only thing we have control over is ourselves. We need to break the sequence and snap out, either by saying “aoodhubillah (I seek refuge in Allah)”, or change our physical positions, or even just do wudu.
On authority of Abu Hurairah, a man came to the Messenger of Allah and said, “Advise me,” and the Messenger of Allah said, “Do not get angry.” The man repeated his question several times, and each time the Prophet answered “Do not get angry.” According to this narration in Bukhari, the person himself did not realize the importance and thus asking the question several times.
Person should follow the means that keeps one from getting angry. A person should change his character to that of generosity, kindness, calmness, modesty, patience, forbearing, forgiveness, easygoing, and so forth. Once person adopts these, becoming angry would become tough.
In general, anger is due to non-Islamic qualities, such as pride, arrogance, stubbornness, joking around, ridiculing, etc. The antithesis to anger is forgiveness and kindness and patience. Building these Akhlaaq in our inner self will prevent us from getting angry, internally and externally.
One should not act based on one’s anger. He should restrain himself from acting upon that anger. Rasoolullah (peace and blessings be upon him) stated, “Whoever restrains his anger while he has the ability to implement and act on it will be called by Allah from the head of the creation on the Day of Resurrection and Allah will then given him a choice of any of al-hoor al-ain that he wishes.” [Recorded in Musnad Ahmed]
One should be internally strong:
Seeking Refuge: Once a person got angry/upset in Prophet’s presence and he (the prophet) said, “I know a statement that if he were to say it, what he is experiencing would leave him. If he were to only say, ‘I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan.’” [al-Bukhari & Muslim]
Making Wudu: Prophet (saw) said, “Verily, anger is from Satan. And, surely, Satan was created from fire. And only water puts out fire. Therefore, if one of you gets angry, he should make ablution.” [Ahmad] Wudu should help the person cool down and take their mind off things thus breaking the sequence.
Changing Positions: “If one of you gets angry while he is standing, he should sit down. This should remove his anger from him. Otherwise he should then lie down.” [Ahmad] Many anger management course tackles relaxation methods.
Remaining Silent: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “If one of you becomes angry, he should be silent.” [Ahmad]
Remembering Allah: Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) said, “And call thy lord to mind when you forget, and say, ‘I hope that my Lord will guide me even closer than this to the right road.’” (18:24) According to Ikrimah (radhiAllahanh), “forgetting” in this verse refers to anger.
Supplicate to Allah for a change. Prophet used to supplicate, “I ask You for truthful speech during times of pleasure and anger.” [al-Nasaai]
Showing Forgiveness (Al-‘afu): “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good and turn away from the foolish.” [Surah al-Araf: 199]
We should recognize the ill-effects of anger, at a personal and a societal level. When a person becomes angry he is still responsible for his deeds and damage. Anger can be a cause of people to break relationships. Prophet (saw) said, “A time will come when Harj (random killing) will come (it will be wide spread); killer won’t know why he killed and the victim will not know why he was killed.”
Al Hasan al-Basri stated, “There are four characteristics that if one possesses them, Allah protects him from Satan and forbids him from the fire. The one who controls himself while in a state of craving, fearing, desiring [or lusting] and being angry.”
The best example is the example of Rasoolullah: Anas bin Malik stated, for ten years he served the Messenger of Allah and the Prophet did not ever say even “uff” to him. When Rasoolullah would get angry, it would be for the sake of Allah, but in a bashful manner. The sahabah would be able to tell that the Messenger was angry just by his face. The Prophet (saw) said, “The strongest tie of iman is having loyalty for the sake of Allah, disassociating from others for the sake of Allah, love for the sake of Allah, and hatred for the sake of Allah.” [al-tabaraani]